Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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