I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
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You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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