She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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