THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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