I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize