im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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