I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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