I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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