we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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