I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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