is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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