On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize