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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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