She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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