Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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