i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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