i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
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she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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