It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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