I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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