I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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