Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize