in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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