apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize