I can text with my tongue
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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