some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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