I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize