paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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