Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize