Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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