do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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