We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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