Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize