whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize