i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
ttyl tear gas
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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