Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize