Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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