I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
They have beer where we have blood.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize