To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize