direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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