I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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