The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If I die, sorry about rent.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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