my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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