The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
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Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize