oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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