That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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