This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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