can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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