its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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