I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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