do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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